Ahhhhh happiness!!! The emotion many of us are striving for. “All I want is to be happy” is a statement you may hear a good friend or relative say or indeed, it may be a statement you might state to the same good friends or relatives. This statement generally follows a period of moaning about someone or something that is dissatisfactory.
In today’s world, it can be so easy to center our happiness around the occurrence of external achievements or events. Yet, this is the very thing that keeps happiness elusive or experienced as a fleeting feeling.
After much study in the subjects of psychology, self-development and human behaviour combined with having facilitated over 10,000 counselling sessions for my clients (all looking for happiness I might add), I felt it prudent to share some tips for creating and maintaining the positive emotion of happiness.
Happiness is an emotion that can range from contentment and peace ascending up to intense joy and enlightenment. I firmly believe that we can train our minds to be happy, despite past emotional paradigms.
The following are my 5 proven methods to be happier and maintain a regular state of happiness: –
Heal The Past – The ideal place for happiness right now, is to have a strong belief about your past, no matter what occurred and that thought is “I love, embrace, honour and am grateful for every event of my past”. When we can accept and be grateful for all past events, we can then truly live in the now. If we are sad, angry, guilty or resentful for past events, then we are carrying emotional blockages and pain and this will withhold happiness from us. The best way to surrender past events (even if you have experienced severe abuse or trauma) is to understand psychologically why you/another person behaved that way. We get to an understanding via being at peace with ourselves or other people’s past actions. When we can be centered with the learned behaviours of ourselves and others, we learn the truth behind psychology and compassion. If it is acceptance of an event, we can let the pain around that event go, by learning gratitude for that which occurred. We can gain gratitude for that which occurred, via being happy for the gifts, strengths and attributes that were awarded as a result of the pain experienced. Healing the past is essential on our path to happiness and working with a good therapist or healer that can help you to castaway all past pain, will do wonders for your current self-esteem and lightness of being. Here is my Facebook video on surrender and letting go to further help you here! Additionally, the audiobook within the A.S.K. program teaches understanding for the picked up habits of ourselves and others and creates new neural pathways of acceptance, forgiveness and deep compassion. Download your kit here!
Align To Your Inner Self – I believe this point is the most important of all 10 points listed here. I learnt this the hard way on my entrepreneurial journey, whereby I used to believe that happiness was gained via external success and income. When we attach our happiness to the external – ie I need that relationship, I need that income, I need that car, I need that success to be happy, we set ourselves up for a lot of pain, we set ourselves up for a lot of yearning and we set ourselves up for a lot of temporary highs and lows. Society has played a big part in conditioning us to believe we need certain things, in order to feel happy from within, which could not be further from the truth. For when the universe does not align ourselves to the acquirement of certain things, we then experience deep suffering. Training our minds to feel content (without the achievement of anything external) creates emotional freedom. From this place of happiness, we are then ready to create the income, success and relationships we would like, because we would like them, as opposed to needing/controlling them. During a certain period in my own life, my career was not really going the way I wanted, which caused me to feel deeply hurt, as my identity had been tied up to success and achievement from a young age. Using success or money or relationships or anything external to define our sense of wellbeing just hurts us. For when that “thing” is removed, we can emotionally collapse. Then, as we learn to align to our inner selves and feel a full sense of abundance, of wholeness and of happiness from within, we learn to flow through life, releasing all sense of attachment to anything external filling us up.
Healthy Relationships – Dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships can erode our happiness and wellbeing. A lot of people suffer with the following habits in unhealthy relationships such as codependency, open to abuse, fear of being alone, controlling others, addictions, cheating, lack of assertiveness, passive aggression, bullying, sacrificing behaviour and so on. Fixing these habits is essential to traversing the path to happiness. To find out if you are in a toxic relationship, see my facebook video here! Learning the essentials skills of self-love + compassion + assertiveness are fundamental requirements to creating a healthy relationship.
Following Your Purpose – Discovering your purpose and serving it to others for financial reward is a wonderful addition to your already established inner happiness. For me, having experienced 2 car accidents, 2 nervous breakdowns and 2 divorces gave me the awakening needed to study psychology so I could become more self-aware and happy in life. From this space, I felt the urge to help as many people as I could. I had found my calling. The fastest way to uncovering your life’s purpose is through the art of introspection: diving into the deeper essences of who you are to pull out the pieces to assemble the purpose puzzle. Think of your life’s purpose as a golden thread; for some, that thread comes in the form of a certain career or profession, while for others it looks like a way of being or expression.
Ascended Thoughts – All negative emotions are created through thoughts of judgment. It is estimated that we have between 50-70,000 thoughts per day. Cleaning and ascending our thoughts into perceptions that create the feelings of compassion, happiness and peace is a clear and defined path to emotional freedom. Tools that help with mindset ascension are: – journalling, subconscious rewiring tools (like The A.S.K. Technique), meditation, prayer, as well as getting external guidance through therapy sessions etc.
A good Therapist can assist to dismantle negative behaviours via the awareness and removal of subconscious rewards, as well as guiding us to the highest emotions available. When we are vibrating at a high energetic state, we are a pleasure to be around. Our daily tasks and dream goals are easy to achieve and life is something that we flow through, rather than resist. We have the aptitude to feel and emit happiness for as long as we want to and bring heaven on earth into our life experience. For how long will you ascend to the garden of paradise that springs eternal within your mind and emotions today?